Rejection Letter

I have haters or people that don’t like the way I write!  Here I’ll prove it to you below.

I applied for a job for some young adult writer thing or whatever and sent them some of the blog posts and things I wrote that appeared on some websites.

Here is the rejection email I got back (this is a real email):

“I must simply reply to express the severe offense I took with regards to these writing samples. I assume, although this may be dangerous considering the content, these were supposed to be funny. As it were, I would perhaps study some comedy in your instance as this was -- and I mean this to be constructive -- the most bland collection of jokes I have ever encountered. Should you want to find work based on the "comedy" of your writing, you have an uphill battle. But please, take what I say with a grain of salt or less. Maybe you're the next Seinfeld and someday you'll be able to email me a wonderfully worded "fuck you" email. I do doubt it will be a funny email, but you will have earned it nonetheless.”

To loosely quote Billy Madison, a simple no would have done just fine.  That one hurt.  Well ya can’t win ‘em all I suppose.  But having haters or naysayers is awesome.  That means I can sit back and bask in the fact that I’ve made it or at least have people that despise my written word.  So it goes.

What’s the nastiest letter of rejection you’ve ever gotten?  Or humor me with your pity, I’ll gladly accept it.  Or you can use this opening to further expound on what the author of this email expressed to me and hit any points you feel he/she missed.  I suppose I should be happy I finally got a response back.