Thoughts on Halloween:
My zeal for a good Halloween celebration matches the passion
that Fox News reserves for their essential war on Christmas yearly freak
out. I love walking around my fair city
of New York and seeing people dressed to the nines in whatever costume they see
fit. How can one not like
Halloween? This is the one day of the
year where we get to pick our own masks and disguises rather than wear the ones
that society imposes on us. Halloween is
escapism from the drudgery of not being able to wear whatever we want and
showcase who we really were that particular October the 31st. Put some effort into your costume and embody
the spirit behind it (always within reason as we don’t need to see a bunch of
people finding their inner serial killer or garden variety psychopath. Embrace the role but subtract some to most of
the violence). Nothing can compare with
the incredible ego boost of making and embodying a great costume and I’ll be
the first to scream it from the mountaintops (or roof over a six floor walkup). For this Halloween I adapted my brother’s
Derek Jeter (never forgot) jersey and turned it into a passable Baseball Furies
outfit from The Warriors. I painted my face a delightful yellow and
black, and donned a cap over my already flowing late 70’s styled hair. The moment my costume was complete I could
feel the power that came with representing the coolest gang outside of the
Warriors (it also didn’t hurt that I was welding a Sammy Sosa Slugger
bat). I ventured out into the streets and
was yelled and stared at all night long (including some actual cops) and I
loved every second of it. My narcissism reached
its usual Halloween peak and I felt the anger and rage that comes with being a
Baseball Furie. I was pissed and in
Halloween bliss.
The scariest costume on Halloween is seeing a big guy wear
normal clothes and just a scream mask (this also works with any ghoulish mask).
It makes the Halloween horror a little
too relatable and also a little too bank robby/murdery for my taste. Thought I must say that the most frightening
costume I saw this year was a guy walking around 8th street wielding
a crossbow with just normal clothes and no accompanying costume. I contend that he was using Halloween as a
cover to murder people and indeed won my scariest costume of the night (he was
thrilled at winning this prestigious honor).
The fact that he walked around with people dressed only in scream masks
sealed the deal.
My favorite costume was worn by a group of four kids who
were trick or treating after school. The
first three kids were dressed as the Avengers and there was a mini Hulk, a mini
Iron Man, and a mini Thor. Their fourth
friend and leader of these young Avengers was dressed in an oversized Kool Aid
Man costume. They were a conceptual
nightmare but a delight to behold. I
would have loved to sat in on the conversation when they were deciding what to
wear. I believe I got a glimpse into
Marvel’s phase three and I have some young trick or treaters to thank.
I noticed a large spike in face painted skeletons and Day of
the Dead face painted costumes among the Halloweeners outside. Now this is putting real effort into a
costume and every painted face I saw was done beautifully. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of staring
at the elaborate designs. I would like
to note that I usually do stop staring it can become quite rude.
Fuck those people who walk into a costume party with no
costume and act like they own the place or are cooler than everybody else because
they didn’t dress up. Without the
costume you’re just attending any other party where you stand around and make uncomfortable
conversation with people. A costume at
least adds a couple of decent opening lines.
Just give in to the power of the costume. It’s okay to not look like the coolest person
and be a silly goose or a plain silly silly.
Take it from me a person who is universally regarded as the bee
knees. On Halloween I take off my normal
cool guy mask and put on my even cooler Baseball Furies face paint because I am
amazing and own Halloween and furthermore….
Sorry about that last part, I got a bit carried away. I’m only uber cool and on Halloween I become
even uber cooler. So Halloween is over
and it’s going be a while before our next dress up holiday (Flag Day?). Our next big event is Election Day and that
will only be enjoyed by the people who are religiously opposed to Halloween
(how the Democrats lose this one is a perfect scary story for future
Halloweens). I hope you had a glorious
Halloween and always keep that passion for dressing up and just being crazy on
a day that respects the oddball and basket case in all of us.
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