Anxiety: A Love Story

Anxiety starts in the upper chest and radiates throughout the body creating a swirling sensation of unease and nausea.  All thoughts of fighting the crippling feeling die by the wayside as the saliva in the throat alternatively accumulates and subsides.  Why the sensation of anxiety has come on is a curious question and fields to a host of simple, but possibly wrong answers.  The mind is a tool of varying mystery and today it has been overwhelmed by something.  Eyes have widened and the mouth has moved into a squiggly line befitting a comic strip before opening up for the dreaded gagging motion.  The familiar twitching motions have returned and they only intensify the feeling known as anxiety.  Flurries of psychbabble flood the mind searching for a definitive reason as to why the sensation of anxiety has sprung a full-fledged attack.  Is it the nearby presence of an ex-lover or prospective lover?  Could it be the discomforting feeling of looking out into a deep, warm night pondering the future of your fate?  Perhaps it is the rush of entering the unknown and fearing the dangers it unlocks.  Whatever the reason or whatever the cause, it has nearly brought on that most unpleasant fear that your anxiety may unleash itself in a physical form and that physical form may manifest itself on your pants or on your shoes.  That does nothing but cause various hostile sensations to swell and battle each other.  Nothing says stability like mental anguish and physical anxiety battling each other for control of a fragile nerve.  In this case the winner is physical anxiety and the prize is a generous heaping of projectile vomit.  Once the vomit has been released from the premise, the body has become nothing more than a glorified encasement of vital organs and blood.  Gone is the strength to do anything but take a few steps and meekly ask for some water while thinking of a witty way to defuse the tension/awkwardness of spewing all over ninth and Broadway.  After wobbling and staggering for a spell, vestiges of your old life before the incident begin to reappear and are yours for the taking.  You grab them and jumpstart the reclaiming process.  It’s good to be back in a state where the old, familiar fears have been put to rest.  The anxiety is still there, but made harmless by the worst way to release anxiety.  You win this time projectile vomit, but let’s not make it a habit (your teeth will be grateful for this proclamation).  Next time will be different (maybe).  But for now it’s time to rejoin the night and enjoy what’s left of a rather beautiful evening.  Nothing like a night out on the town.