The big snowstorm to end all snowstorms hit New York and
other less important areas and wait to for it… life still goes on with only a
few inconveniences. In fact the city was
hit with under a foot of snow which is vastly different from the Day After Tomorrow scenarios that were
envisioned nights and days before.
People panicked as if they had never lived through this thing we call
winter and its side effect known as snow.
So the storm came and passed like an annoyance in the night and led to
the recent phenomena of complaining that we didn’t get hit hard enough. I cannot for the life of me understand all of
this complaining at what turned out to be the best possible outcome. First, nearly everything is closed today so
that’s a lovely midweek break from the monotonous grind that is late January. A random vacation day can do wonders for the
psyche and may stave off your seasonal depression for a couple of hours. Now instead
of trying to kill yourself at 10 at night, you’ll wait till after the Late
Night block and then maybe decided not to do it all because who’d want to kill
themselves after watching a celebrity get soaking wet on Jimmy Fallon? The answer: bad example; I apologize
profusely. So we got that going for
us. Secondly, did people want there to
be a massive snowstorm that crippled the city and made Sandy seem like a quaint
affair? Sometimes it’s nice when our
experts are wrong especially when it comes to killer snowstorms. At the worst, last night’s storm forced you
to do the shopping you’ve put off forever and stopped you from driving on hazardous
roads. Again I can’t see why people are
mad. Yes it is annoying when things aren’t
accurate to the t but I’m fine with this one.
The only people I can understand who want massive power outages in New
York are fans of The Purge and our
underground Amish population (mark my words they’ve been waiting for a time
when we would call on them and they would just sit there, stroke their beards,
and laugh at us while reading a deluxe version of the Bible that includes 45%
more vengeance). What it comes down to
is that the weather people overreacted and we got a nice snow day out of their
sky is falling rhetoric.
Plus if anything, this allows us to focus our perpetual outrage
towards meteorologists and keep the cycle of Twitter outrage and sarcastic meme
posting alive. Without these sorts of miscalculations
our holier than thou friends would cease to exist and surely we wouldn’t want
that? Does anybody want to live in a
world where a mistake cannot become buried under a mountain of ridicule and
death threats? I for one, shudder to
think at such an existence because it would mean the end of my blog and would be
a tragedy of unspeakable terms for the literary world.
In the end the snow came, but not really, and of course people
are mad. But I say enjoy your snow day
and engage the snow! Remember when a
snow day was the most glorious of all random holidays and the sound of school
being cancelled led to the most pleasant morning sleep you’ve ever had? I remember but that’s because every day for
me is a snow day (don’t ask why – the answer is just too depressing). So stop complaining about how it didn’t snow bricks
and enjoy the fact that we have a day off and the perfect amount of snow both
have fun in and operate around. Jesus
people it’s just snow!
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