Thursday, July 10, 2014

The Rants of a Proud Lifelong Manhattanite

It seems to be that the ultimate compliment to bestow on a native New Yorker is that they are from Brooklyn.  Lately Brooklyn has become the epicenter of what I like to call edgy-funky-cool town, while Manhattan has become hack central.  Believe me I’m not blind to the cries of Manhattan becoming a center for hacks as the claim as plenty of credibility.  Beginning with the reign of Giuliani and intensifying into the Bloomberg years, Manhattan has become a haven for non-native New Yorkers.  Downtown Manhattan is populated by arrogant NYU kids who think they own the city (when in reality it’s their wealthy parents), while uptown nearly an extension of Colombia University.  Manhattan has sold out, but it’s been selling out for years I suppose.  Bloomberg ensured that Manhattan would only be for the rich and elite and did his best to make sure the Rolling Stones song “Shattered” was deemed irrelevant.  When I tell people I hail from Manhattan I have to quickly dispense with the I’m not rich (but I would really like to be) and the other worn out chestnut of I don’t know what it was like to grow up in Manhattan, I just did and it was more exciting than growing up in whatever lame suburban town you hail from.  Manhattan ain’t what it used to be and the only perk to that is that my biggest fear about walking around at night is the more than likely chance I’ll run into a gang of rats (I also have a fear of being killed, but rats are really gross).

Brooklyn has been hailed as the epicenter of New York cool, but is it really?  What is so cool about Brooklyn other than people telling you that it’s so cool?  Brooklyn has the benefit of being a hell of a lot cheaper than Manhattan and is also not that hard to get around in (Manhattan is still the king of transporting ease).  There is also the added benefit of “authenticity” and “real New Yorkerness” that Manhattan can lack, notably in the midtown – Times Square area.  Brooklyn has the advantage of not being Queens, so there’s that.  But Brooklyn is changing and it’s turning into the New Manhattan.  It’s becoming less for Brooklynites and more for rich out of towners like the certain borough these said Brooklynites love to hate.  But what are you gonna do?  These types of gentrification and population shifts have been happening in New York for years and years.  It’s inevitable in my view.  In a few years the current residents will be complaining about how their neighborhood is changing and will not pick up on the hilarious irony. 


As a lifelong resident of Manhattan it’s always an exciting moment when I meet another lifelong Manhattanite.  In those fleeting moments of borough bonding we discuss our disappointment of what’s happening to our fair borough and make sure to mock the Long Island kids arriving to Penn Station for a night in the city (the perks of being a snobby city kid).  Manhattan still reigns supreme in terms of New York City boroughs because of the frantic kinetic energy.  The place is always alive and jumping and holds little reminders that people actually live here.  Brooklyn has areas that could pass for a suburb and that will always hold it below Manhattan.  This borough is pure city with nothing tragically suburban about it no matter how hard these out of towners try to add their own homely touches to it.  As far as I’m concerned, Manhattan is still where it’s at.  Brooklyn is nice, but in all honesty it can shove it.  Lifelong Manhattan residents I salute you.        

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