Universal Human Rights

         From my vaunted vaults - an essay on universal human rights...

   Universal human rights have often come into conflict with many other existing ideas.  This partially because it is the new doctrine on the block.  There have been many challenges to the legitimacy of the human rights doctrine and so far, the doctrine still seems to hold up well in present day society.  Of the many challenges procured against universal human rights is that it has no regard for other cultures’ standards of a decent and good life.  It cares little for how other cultures conduct their societies simply because universal human rights feels it trumps any other value.  Some people have deemed this idea to be very rude to say the least.  Can these two views be reconciled?  We can make a claim that human rights are universal and that other cultures hold different beliefs about what constitutes a good life because while human rights are universal and always right in any circumstance, some cultures beliefs about what is a good life are wrong and do not benefit their citizens.  So read on to find out why (or not, nobody is pressuring you, but you probably should if you want to find out why).

            Now that you have taken the first step and have decided to read on, let us start with the first point on universal human rights.  Human rights do not have to come into conflict with what some cultures deem to be a good and successful life.  Many times there are similar underlying human rights beliefs that aren’t explicitly stated or written.  Ideas do not have to be written to be validated.  As long as people believe it and practice it, the rights are alive.  Writing down rights and beliefs give people something concrete to look back on when they need to justify their rights.  It is always easier to justify stated and written rights than implied rights.  The idea of different cultures all sharing similar rights can be found in Gayle Binions’ essay, Human Rights: A Feminist Perspective.  In the essay, she describes how different women in different cultures have the same underlying values and beliefs.  She writes that a study of women in forty three countries have four unifying themes and concerns like eradicating male violence, promoting reproductive rights, and changes to promote economic equality for women along with political changes to bring about female empowerment (Binion 522).  These forty-three countries probably do not all have the same standards for what constitutes a good and decent life, but many of their citizens share the same ideas of what constitutes a good life.  Cultural barriers and diversity do not take away the fact that there are universal rights in this world and that all people want to share in them equally.

            Even some cultures that seem superficially opposed to universal human rights can in themselves find a justification for the said human rights they are against (as Stephen Colbert would say, nailed ‘em).  Josh Cohen of MIT (that means he is smart but probably socially awkward due to the theory propagated by terrible shows like The Big Bang Theory) in his very long essay Minimalism About Human Rights: The Most We Can Hope for?, discusses how cultures with a Confucian tradition support the idea of universal human rights despite the assumption that they are against this notion.   In a very general sense, Confucian tradition has an emphasis on fulfilling duties associated with human relationships with others.  Part of human rights is about placing obligations on others and responsibility on oneself in order to fulfill the duties of living a decent life (Cohen 16-19).  Confucianism fits the bill here perfectly.  Cultures with ideas that seem to be incompatible to universal rights due to their own cultural conventions can be proven to fall under the umbrella (‘ella, ‘ella, eh, eh – lyrics courtesy of Rihanna) of human rights.  This understanding of Confucianism does not destroy any Confucian text or seek to discredit what the culture describes as the good life.  It validates views of the good life in a different context and shows how different cultures have underlying human rights beliefs.  You just have to dig deep sometimes.

            Another thing that must be said is that cultures can be wrong in their practices and beliefs.  The only people that will tell you otherwise are cultural relativists that believe in a theory that can be summed up as different strokes for different folks.  Sadly, this theory has no mention of Sly or the family stone or even the television series with Todd Bridges.  Moving back to the point, cultural ideas about what is the good life can be wrong and universal human rights in their pure form are not.  We need to be able to criticize cultural practices and ideas because if we couldn’t we would not be able to stop any unjust practices that go on around the world.  Cultures and societies would be given the free reign to do what they please under the reasoning of it is my tradition and beliefs.  Being able to step back and criticize, but more importantly change cultural practices and ideas through absolute and universal human rights, is necessary to improve the overall good life for all the inhabitants of this planet.  Letting horrible cultural practices of abuse towards women or torture continue just because they fall under the guise of cultural traditions and cultural beliefs about the good life is unacceptable.  The good life here is only defined by who is in power.  What is the good life for the king is not the same as for the abused and battered lower class woman.  Universal human rights put forth a standard of basic practices that make sure we can stop these abuses and improve the good life for everybody involved.  Most victims under these culture traditions would probably give up these traditions for the universal human rights they are being denied.  Would people still want to follow harmful traditions if they knew a better one existed and was justified by a universal code of obligations that specifically forbade the torture these people had to go through?  They probably would opt for the second option, but you can never be so sure (some people are into that kind of thing).  Those people are also into wearing a lot of leather but that is a discussion for a far more interesting essay.

            Naturally when one puts out an essay with a thesis, there are bound to be some objections that sprout up around it.  Since there are no direct questions being thrown around right now, it is time to come up with some hypothetical objections and to answer them in a concise and intelligent way (and maybe some clever witticisms, who knows).  The first objection to this thesis would come from the work of Frederique Apfell-Margin and Loyda Sanchez.  They would contend that human rights can be used by governments to continue to destroy indigenous people who are already leading a life that many people in the indigenous community do not complain about.  They use the case about the Bolivian government introducing birth control and western ideas of feminism to the indigenous campesino community and other Andean communities in an effort to limit and eventually destroy the populations (Sanchez 178-79).  The government wants the land these people own and find that using birth control could help to eventually wean out and slowly destroy this population so then they can swoop in and steal their land like the conquistadors of old.  This does hold some sway to the people of the region.  They have a cultural belief of the good life that does not seem to fit with the modern definition and have survived through great adversity which has included many attempts of annihilation.  Family planning does not fit in with the idea of human regeneration and communalism that this culture has deemed the good life (Sanchez 172-173).  In short it looks like Apffel-Marglin and Sanchez have a point.

            Apffel-Marglin and Sanchez have a point, but it is a point that will be proven wrong by simply reading on (zing!).  While Apffel-Margin and Sanchez are right to be skeptical towards the governments’ plans, that doesn’t mean that the women of these areas should not be able to make a choice about what they feel is right for their lives.  They may feel that for the betterment of their collective and community, they should not have multiple children, but to try and work or help out in other regions of the society.  The good life that they imagine may be different than that which is prescribed by the society and they have a right to fulfill their own definition of the good life.  Not every woman who gets introduced to ideas of western style feminism or birth control will immediately turn their back on their old cultural values.  Look at America.  We’ve had feminist waves and ideas going back to the founding of this nation, and not every woman has agreed with them.  Some women were against the Equal Protection Amendment.  That could not be a stronger rejection of feminist values.  The same goes for birth control.  We have had legal birth control since the 1960’s but that doesn’t mean that everybody is a proponent of it.  One needs to look no farther than Bristol Palin or the entire state of Mississippi to see a rejection of birth control ideas.  Just because something new is introduced into a culture doesn’t mean that the old ways of beliefs will be completely abandoned.  Those who want to change will change and those who do not want to change will not. 

            Furthermore, if the government is using ideas of women’s rights and universal human rights as a means to genocide than they are not using these rights the way they are intended to be used.  Universal human rights are meant to prevent genocide rather than to encourage and promote it.  Manipulating human rights for evil purpose does not invalidate universal human rights; it invalidates the legitimacy of the governments who do such actions.  If caught, these governments will not be able to say that human rights allows for them to destroy members of their own population.  They will be tried under crimes against humanity and under human rights abuse.  Human rights will survive, but not people who grossly misrepresent and abuse such rights.

            Another objection is that universal human rights come from a western background and only seeks to validate the western cultural idea of what is a good life.  Universal human rights are specific only to western culture and do not bother to extend and include other cultural practices and beliefs.  In a way they serve to extend western cultural hegemony and destroy any culture that stands in its’ way.  This belief isn’t necessary true.  Many people believe that universal human rights are not just a western idea.  Kwasi Wiredu, in his essay An Akin Perspective on Human Rights, discusses how the Akan people of West Africa have come up with their own concept of human rights that is not dependent on the western one.  He discusses life in this culture and how it subscribes to ideas of human rights that everyone would be able to relate to.  They have a principle of “justice that no human being could be punished without trial” (Wiredu 164) and ideas of religious freedom as well; demonstrated by how open they were to the intruding Christian missionaries (Wiredu 167) when in reality they should have probably just sent them to the lions like the Romans had done previously (this last part could be construed as a joke if one is inclined to do so).  Universal human rights existed in all cultures and are not just western.  Other civilizations ideas of what constitutes a good life seem to share some underlying beliefs with what is recognized as universal human rights.  While they seem to be overtly Western, they have enough of a multicultural background to be taken as universal.  By looking at numerous cultures one can find the many similarities to the current human rights doctrine. 

            In conclusion, we can believe in universal human rights without denying that other cultures have their own beliefs about what makes up a good life.  Many cultures already share underlying human rights beliefs.  Just because they are not written down or explicitly stated doesn’t make them less true.  Also, some cultures are wrong about what they believe is the good life.  Universal human rights seek to right the wrongs that many cultures cannot see by taking the outside view to such practices.  It is easier to judge something from an outsider perspective.  If there is one thing everybody loves it is an unbiased outsider perspective.  Especially when one goes clothes shopping. 

Works Cited

Apffel-Marglin, Frederique, and Loyda Sanchez. "Developmental Feminism and Neocolonalism in Andean Communities." Feminist Postdevelopment Thought. N.p.: Sanders, 2003. 159-80. Print.

Binion, Gayle. "Human Rights: A Feminist Perspective." Human Rights Quarterly 17.3 (1995): 509-26. Print.

Cohen, Josh. Minimalism About Human Rights: The Most We an Hope For? N.p.: n.p., n.d. Print.

Wiredu, Kwasi. "An Akin Perspective on Human Rights." Cultural Universals and Particulars: An African Perspective. Bloomington: Indiana UP, 1996. 157-71. Print.

  

The Knicks Actually Win a Trade

Strange things are afoot in the world of the NBA.  We start with an occurrence so rare and unbelievable that I still am having trouble fathoming it.  The Knicks actually won a trade.  They picked up Jose Calderon, Samuel Dalembert, Shane Larkin, and Wayne Ellington from the Dallas Mavericks in exchange for Tyson Chandler and Raymond Felton.  First off, we got Calderon who is the polar opposite of Felton in that he is a functioning, if not good, point guard.  The man can shoot a free throw like no other and was a 45% shooter from three point range last year.  Raymond Felton on the other hand narrowly avoided jail time in an illegal gun possession case.  He also was uniformly awful last year.  Advantage Knickerbockers.  Tyson Chandler was supposed to be our defensive mainframe and stopper and he did fulfill the part for most of his first two seasons and even won a defensive player of the year award.  Ironically, despite winning the defensive player of the year award, Tyson Chandler was placed on the All NBA second defensive team.  How that happened I’ll never know.  I fell off the Tyson Chandler bandwagon in the Knicks playoff series against the Indiana Pacers where fucking Roy Hibbert demolished Chandler and the Knick’s spirit and gave me a feeling of general terribleness that lasted for a long, long while.  Going into this season I was hoping that his playoff embarrassment would spur on a career year, but Tyson promptly got hurt and then played very poorly for the rest of the season.  Some would say he quit on the team towards the end of a brutal and lost season.  I would say that the Knicks quit on the fans by trading picks for Andrea Bargnani, a man whose talents have been perfectly shown in a horrifying/hilarious dunk attempt.  I always appreciated Chandler’s defensive intensity and the fire he brought to the court, but his lack of offensive prowess and presence frustrated me (and Clyde) to no end.  The 7 footer would be two feet away from the basket and he would pass it out!  Shoot my man, shoot the damn ball.  Well at least those moments are long gone now.

While finding a team to take Raymond Felton is astonishing and a win in its own right, there was another part of the deal that struck me and other long suffering fans as a surprise.  The Mavericks gave the Knicks two second round picks to top off the deal (picks 34 and 51).  When was the last time a trade involving the Knicks actually saw the Knickerbockers gain draft picks?  That delightful cherry on top has put my love affair with the Zen Master into an even fuller swing.  Phil Jackson has the Knicks offseason up and running and I can’t wait to hear what the 11 time champ has next in store (maybe those outlandish Lebron rumors come true).  Phil Jackson is finding players that fill his and Fisher’s system and he has already started to overhaul the problem areas on the team.  A move like this, assuming they can resign Melo, puts them in the mid to lower part of the playoff picture.  For the first time in a bit I am excited about the future of my beloved New York Knicks.  Now let’s resign Carmelo before this feeling of general good will descends into a pool of insufferable sadness coupled with other overwrought descriptions.  You can prevent this oh mighty Zen Master.  I believe in you.  

Lumosity: A 2 Week Review

For the last two weeks I have been faithfully “training” my brain with Lumosity, the online mind enhancer web site.  While two weeks may seem like too short a time to determine whether my mental capabilities have seen any notable increase, I would like to throw caution to the wind and give my expert analysis after using said brain enhancing program.  My expert analysis is that I have no idea whether it works or not because I don’t want to pay for the member’s access.  That’s right, Lumosity charges innocent people like yours truly money for a service that should, by all means, be rendered free.  According to the Lumosity tagline (which I am generously misquoting to prove my point), the intent of using said product is to increase core cognitive functions.  To me, and maybe just to me, that sounds like quite a power for one company to horde and charge for.  Lumosity claims it has the key to help we simple minded folk improve our all too necessary core cognitive functions but only for a price and certainly not for free (are you crazy).  All they will give the common man who doesn’t want to shell out x amount of obscene dollars is the bird hunting/photography game and the one game where you solve raindrop math equations.  On top of that, they grace the non-paying member with some sort of performance score labeled LPI or Lumosity Performance Index.  Now naturally, the question of what is a good LPI (ah you catch on quick with the slang) arises?  To answer your thoughtful question I shall dust off an old chestnut and provide the unsatisfying response of I have no idea because I am not a paying member.  I have no benchmark other than my previous LPI’s and unless I join the ranks of the paying member, I have no clue as to how I stack up against other Lumosity users (again with the paying).  Why Lumosity, why do you horde such necessary information to those of us that don’t want to pay.  You alone hold the keys to increasing my core cognitive functions, something that should have been endowed as a god given right by our creator (way to leave that one out Jefferson), but alas was overlooked and forces schnorrers like me to cast myself at the mercy of the evil Lumosity gods.  What good is all this training if I have no benchmarks for it?  Why Lumosity, why do you put a price tag on self-improvement and mental fulfillment?  Have you no soul you heartless bunch of cognitive monsters?

In conclusion, I think Lumosity should consider making their whole program free of charge.  That would be appreciated.   

The Thrill of the Chase

The thrill of the chase doesn’t apply to those who don’t engage in much chasing.  In the rare moment when a chase can occur, the focus is on obtaining the rabbit or bunny or whatever objective is required and desired.  Only in times of nostalgia or lonely moments of fading glory will the chase be rightfully respected and revered.  But for now there is nothing to do but sit down and contemplate what went wrong or what is to go wrong next.  When presented with a series of failures, or the more polite term of “near makes”, the conquistador‘s mind enters a perpetual mode of self-pity and woe is me.  In short, that rain cloud just won’t go away.  To the conquistador, the only way to vanquish this rather pesky rain cloud is by a moment of sheer chance, or sheer destiny, or a perplexingly sheer mix of the two elements (how they merge together is anybody’s guess). 

But whatever the reason the rain cloud, for the moment, has dissipated and the thrill of the chase garners momentum.  Old patterns re-emerge in the conquistador while long dormant feelings resurface.  The chase is on and the buildup is slow.  Some would say painfully slow.  Others, a more patient and wiser group I may add, would simply settle for slow and be done with the matter completely.  They would focus on the task at hand rather than surveying the differences in speed.  

We return to find the buildup palpable and the ego expanding too far for its own good.  The word to focus on is unbearable and if the conquistador can acknowledge the relevance of that word to the situation at hand, than the thrill of the chase has not taken its proper hold.  When the word garners the aura of irrelevance the chase is on in full swing and cannot and, most importantly, must not be stopped until it has reached the proper conclusion of inevitable disappointment or surprising usurping of victory.  The first result leads to the continued renewal of the events previously described.  The latter result leads to an even bigger swelling of the ego and a delayed return to the events previously described.  In conclusion, you just can’t win sometimes.       

Guest Writer: Aaron Thompson

Hey y'all, here's a treat for you.  My brother has humbly submitted a short story for your reading enjoyment.  I haven't read it yet due to my always erring on the side of danger.  So sit back and enjoy a story from Aaron Thompson.

A Day That Will Live In Infamy

It was early.  Too early even for a cigarette.  The sun pierced through the flimsy window shades, but I knew it was the early morning.  In Hawaii the sun was always my own personal alarm clock. I lifted my throbbing head off the hard pillow I passed out on.  I dizzily scanned the room not knowing exactly where I was or how I had gotten there.  All of a sudden an outstretched arm fell over my crotch.  I jumped in surprise and saw a woman lying peacefully beside me.  She was blonde, my favorite, and could not be more than twenty two, or possibly twenty three years old.  I then recognized her; it was Jane Rozanski, one of the newest and prettiest nurses here at the naval base.  We must have had some wild time the previous night.  I hope she wasn’t too disappointed with my performance, tequila always stiffened my libido.  She seemed at ease, so I guess it wasn’t all that bad.  I eased myself gently out of her bed and swiftly put on my clothes.  A white t-shirt, a pair of grimy jeans, one sock, my boots, and no underwear was all I could find in my staggered state.  My watch read a quarter past seven, I had exactly thirty minutes to gather myself and report to the mess hall. 

I left her dormitory trying desperately not to make the slightest sound and stumbled back to my barrack not too far away.  My barrack was located the furthest away from the mess hall, away from all the ships and planes and whatnot.  All the guys were up already and in full uniform before I could even shower off the sweat from last night.

“Well look who it is,” sneered Roberts, “I hope you had a good time last night asshole.  You knew I was into Jane and you just didn’t give a fuck.  I hope she gives you herpes, then you guys would be made for each other.”

“Fuck off; I’m not in the mood for this shit right now.  All I’m gonna say is she came onto me and there was nothing I could do.  And let me to tell you something Theodore, I rocked her fucking world last night,” I taunted, lying through my teeth.

“Fuck you Guy.  I hope you have fun arriving late to the mess hall without your platoon.  I know Lieutenant Anderson is gonna really enjoy imparting his eloquent ‘wisdom’ on you.  We’re outta here.” 

All my “brothers” then walked out of the barrack, one by one, as if they had rehearsed this moment before my arrival.  Only Tommy Williams stayed behind. 

“Don’t mind Roberts.  He’s just upset because the better man got the girl.  Anyways, how was it last night?  Best night of your life?  Definitely would’ve been the best night of my life.  Jane is one fine lady,” he said while winking at me.

“Well, I wish I could tell ya Tommy, but I don’t remember a single thing.  Goddamn tequila wiped out my consciousness last night,” I said as I gagged while thinking about all the tequila shots still resting in my stomach.

“What?!  Guess you had one too many.  Shit, you know I wish I could stay here and wait for you, but you know how Anderson’s been on my ass lately.  I’ll save you a seat at the mess hall.  Don’t be too late, it’s already almost seven forty.”

“Alright, thanks Tommy.  I’ll definitely see you down there, I just gotta shower first.  I feel like I have four layers of sweat and filth living on me.”

Tommy laughed, tipped his hat to me, and was on his way.  He was my only friend here at the base.  We met at the local recruiting office on the corner of Cropsey Avenue in Brooklyn.  Turned out we only lived six blocks away from each other and even went to the same high school.  We were the only Yankees here at the naval base.  Everyone else was either from the deep South or some bumble fuck farm in the Midwest.  The other recruits never really cozied up to us too kindly.  It must have been our heavy Brooklyn accents or the fact that we were the only non-racists in our platoon.  They say we’re an army of one, but it sure as hell didn’t feel that way.  Regardless, we knew we would always have each other’s backs no matter the situation. 

I hopped into the shower and just let the lukewarm water rain onto my head.  I looked up into the shower head, eyes closed, and immersed myself into the brief warmth.  For those few short minutes, I could relax and not have a care in the world.

At the exact moment I turned off the water, I heard screeching fighter sounds outside.  It was definitely way too early for a practice fly by with our boys, but maybe the Lieutenant was shaking things up a bit.  It wouldn’t have been the first time Anderson had done something unconventional.  Not even a second later, the warning alarm went off piercing through my barrack and almost knocked me down in shock.  I ran outside with my towel on and saw dozens, possibly hundreds of planes approaching the base.  These planes were definitely foreign, but I could not make out the insignia on the side.  After squinting long and hard enough, I could finally make out large red circles painted across them.  Could it be?  I knew the Japanese were siding with the Axis powers, but were they really gutsy enough to attack a country not even involved in the war, let alone a country as powerful as the United States?  It made absolutely zero sense to me.

All of a sudden I saw countless bombs drop from the planes and land into the harbor.  My jaw dropped in awe; I had never seen anything quite like that before.  The inevitability of pain and destruction ensued as I watched in disbelief.  There were direct hits on two of our destroyers and a handful of smaller ships.  Flames burst out of the command ships.  People were flung into the harbor and I just stood there feeling completely helpless.  It was war.  This is what I signed up for.  To defend my nation at any cost at any moment, so help me God. 

I ran back inside searching frantically for my footlocker with all my gear.  It wasn’t by my bed which is where it always was.  I bet that bastard Roberts hid it as a joke to seem all high and mighty to the new recruits.  Fucking asshole.  I finally found it in the first aid closet and everything was accounted for except my uniform shirt.  I was wasting valuable time and decided to just put on the same white t-shirt I left Jane’s wearing.  Unfortunately, all I had was a standard issued handgun which does not usually match up well against fighter jets.  The armory was only a few buildings away from me, so heavy firepower was definitely an option.  Nevertheless, it was still better than nothing, so I grabbed it and cautiously left my barrack. 

Outside there were still endless amounts of planes and almost twice as many ships on fire.  This was absolute hell.  Both the military personnel and civilians were frantically running around not knowing what to do.  I had not been trained for this type of situation.  My heart was racing faster than a locomotive.  Though I was only a private, I knew I had to take some course of action.  I started running towards the armory.  The sounds of firepower, missiles, and screaming completely blocked out any logical thoughts that were running through my head.  While running, I heard a screaming plane coming up fast behind me.  I turned around expecting it to be high in the sky when I realized this Japanese plane was literally headed straight towards me.  I staggered backwards, turned around, and started running for my life.  Right before I felt like the plane was going to hit me, I jumped out in front of me and sprawled out on the ground.  The plane narrowly missed me by what seemed like inches and crashed into the armory at my twelve o’clock.  Debris and flames sprayed all around me.  I kept my head buried in the ground and held my hands over my head.  Luckily, only small fragments of wood fell on me, but there was an obnoxious ringing sound vibrating through my head.  Of course this added to my already massive headache from my hangover, so I was not quite right in the noggin. 

I stayed completely motionless on the ground for another couple minutes just to make sure I was not in anymore imminent danger.  I got up slowly, head weighing heavy on my shoulders, and took a minute to gather myself.  My breathing was the heaviest it had ever been.  It was as if my lungs were filled with salt and had shriveled up.  I stared at what remained of the armory.  After scavenging through the wreckage, there was nothing useful I could find.  Scanning out ahead me, I saw the base runway not too far away.  I started sprinting towards the runway, heaving the entire way.  When I arrived at the runway I was stunned to see soldiers running away from our only viable weaponry. 

I grabbed a kid who looked way too young to be enlisted and yelled, “Why aren’t people going into the fighters?!  We gotta fight these bastards, why is no one fighting?!”

“That’s why!” as the young man pointed behind me.  I turned around half expecting to a fucking zeppelin.  Instead were four planes flying perfectly parallel to one another and heading straight towards the runway.

“Get outta here!” I yelled to the boy.  Without hesitation he bolted away from the runway and off into God knows where.  I ducked behind the runway safe house and prayed to God they did not know I was there.  I peered through a small, opaque window to obtain a slight vantage point of what was going to happen.  Next thing I knew, rounds and rounds of firepower started pouring out of the enemy planes.  I watched in fury as the planes went straight down the runway completely destroying every available jet.  The planes made an about face to make sure they had finished what they started.  After the fighters were at a safe enough distance away, I came out and just stared at the manic destruction.  I was starting to lose any last glimmer of hope I was still clinging to.  To my surprise, an all too familiar voice called my name. 

“Hey Guy!  Is that you?”

I turned around and exclaimed, “Tommy!  Boy, are you a sight for sore eyes.  Thank God you’re still alive, but you’re hurt.  What the hell happened to you?  Where the fuck have you been?  We gotta get you to a medic now,” I implored trying to take his arm and lead him to medic dock, but he pulled away.

“Na, it’s nothing man.  A damn bullet came up and grazed my arm, hurt like a bitch.  There’s no time to explain where I’ve been, we’re under attack if you haven’t noticed!  You gotta come with me though.  Lieutenant Anderson told me about these secret turret machines up the mountain.  Apparently these turrets were placed there for situations like this.  He ordered me to go up there and take down these guys one by one.  I bet the Japanese didn’t think we had ammo in the mountain.  Those rising sun bastards will never know what hit ‘em!  Come on follow me,” he urged dragging me by the shoulder.

Without a word of hesitation I followed close by to Tommy, sticking right to his heels. We scaled up the mountain through a terribly made path, but finally arrived at a small enclosure in the mountain with two turrets set up about twenty feet apart.  It seemed almost like a match made in heaven for the two of us.  The only problem was that even though the topmost part of the mountain was covering our heads, there was nothing in front to protect us.  If a Japanese fighter saw us- to put it nicely- we would be fucked.  We had rounds of ammunition behind us and our turrets were already loaded.  We took the reins of each death machine, looked at each other, and started firing into the sky.  Plane after plane started falling from the skies.  Instead of honoring their own death, the Japanese pilots would crash into civilian and military buildings adding to the shit show that was December 7^th, 1941.  Cowards. 

“Six, seven, eight, my plane count keeps rising and rising buddy!  How many you at Guy?” Tommy questioned with an uneasy grin on his face.

“I can’t even tell.  I don’t even know if I’m hitting anything, this is only my third time on a turret,” I yelled back while trying to aim my turret.

“Just keep your head up and focus on the plane you’re aiming for.  Trust in your instincts-“ but all of a sudden, there was a huge explosion of sound and I was forced off my turret into a protective fetal state. 

As the dust quickly dissipated and the rocks no longer fell on my body, I cautiously raised myself off the stone ground and turned my head towards Tommy.  He lay there, motionless, bloodied, and shot numerous times through the chest and head.  I crawled over to him in utter disbelief.  I lifted his limp body off the ground, enough to where I could hold and cradle him.  I kept rocking back and forth, tears streaming down my cheeks.  His blood started to cover my own body, but I didn’t care.  Tommy was family, the only one who cared about me on this God forsaken island.  I rested him gently on the ground, stood up, and vomited off the mountain.  I could not gather myself together to stop shaking or to even form words, let alone sentences.

Before I knew it, gun shots were headed my way.  I fell to the ground again as rocks started falling hard onto my head.  That bastard just missed me, but I was not going to miss him.  It was one of the few planes left over the harbor and the only one that knew of my location.  This monster killed my brother and I was not going to let that go unresolved.  I jumped back onto my turret, took one glance at what remained of Tommy, and turned towards the plane.  He started to circle back, probably anticipating a simple, yet rewarding kill.  I clenched the turret, white knuckled and palms sweaty, and followed the path of the plane.  Right before the plane turned to face me head on, I fired everything I had accompanied with my screams of anger.  The turret emptied and all I saw was the plane make a crash landing right at the base of the mountain.

I made my way down the mountain forging my own path to follow.  I got down to the base and made my way about forty feet to the crash.  I circled the plane and to my pleasant surprise, there was the pilot crawling out of the wreckage.  I walked up to him and kicked his gun away.  I yanked him out of the wreckage and threw him to the ground.  He tumbled over a few times, but then slowly got up.  I took out my gun and threw it to the ground.  I raised my fists up in a broken boxing position and motioned to him to come at me.  This was more than personal.  He spit blood on the ground, fixed his footing, and sprinted towards me.  He barreled into me and knocked me hard into the ground.  We started rolling over each other for about ten feet until I finally got on top of him and started landing blow after blow to his face.  After about the fourth punch, he must have gathered up all the strength he had left because he just tossed me off of him.  I landed awkwardly on my left arm and definitely felt something pop out of place.  I got up, holding my left shoulder, and tried to regain both my balance and breath.  The Japanese soldier looked like he wanted to say something, but I would not give him that satisfaction.  I ran towards him, but was completely unaware that he was holding a knife behind his back.  He whipped it out right before I got to him, but I was lucky enough to dodge left of his attack.  I picked up a piece of metal from the plane wreckage and did my best Babe Ruth swing clean across his face.  He went down like a sack of potatoes.  I picked up his knife and stood over him, just staring at him for what seemed like a lifetime.  Before I could decide what to do, a familiar voice called my name.

“Private Guy James!  Step away from that man immediately,” Lieutenant Anderson ordered.

I continued staring at the Japanese soldier, but eventually eased myself to Lieutenant Anderson, looked deep into his eyes, and then buried my head into his chest.

“Tommy’s dead, he’s fucking dead,” I stuttered as I began to choke up, “this fucker killed him.  He fucking killed him.”

 “Stand up straight private.  You can’t let your emotions get the better of you.  Tommy died for this country and for you.  He will be remember and honored just like everyone else who perished today.  I know you want justice for Tommy, but killing this soldier isn’t going to make the pain go away.  We need to take both this man and you to the medical dock immediately,” Lieutenant Anderson said while motioning to weary medics.  “It’s over Guy, it’s over.”

The medics placed me on a stretcher and hurried me to the medical dock.  I lost sight of where the oriental soldier was taken, but it was probably better that way.  After getting bandaged and hooked up to more needles than I could count, I finally had a chance to catch my breath.  This day was the epitome of a nightmare.  I never thought anything of this caliber would happen to the remote naval base at Pearl Harbor.  My whole body was still shaking even though the attack had been over for quite some time.  The flames and carnage I saw would haunt me for the rest of my life.  Tommy’s face right before he was murdered would haunt me for the rest of my life.  My faith in humanity was depleted.  Not even Jane’s angelic face could restore it as she tended to my wounds.  I lay motionless on the hospital bed, only my chest moving from my incoming and outgoing breath.  There was nothing more to say or do or think.  The world was changing for the worse, and I was right in the thick of it. 

Culture Column

I was once a culture critic for an online magazine.  It did not end well.  I wonder why?

Yes I accept Bribes

By Jason Thompson

Yes, I accept bribes.  There I said it.  As a culture critic for a very influential website, my integrity can be bought and sold for the right price.  I say this because of the recent Kscandal Kinvolving a Kardashian.  Recently it was revealed that Kris Jenner, host of the new daytime talk show, Kris, was caught trying to bribe New York Post television critic, Linda Stasi, into giving her show a better review.  Jenner tried to bribe the critic with a silver pen from Tiffany’s and cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery.  Linda Stasi did not accept the bribe. This is where my colleague and I differ.  I would have taken it in a second.  Kris, baby, I have no qualms, give me that pen; I’d love to pawn that thing off on whoever likes a silver pen.  You can have me bought off for the right price and I would have said anything you wanted!  Just give me something I can work with (imagine a man winking right now because that is what I am doing) and I’m your man. 

Remember when I gave a glowing review to the new Die Hard movie and said that these films will never wear out their welcome?  All lies!  I was given a six pack of blue Powerade for a “cool review”.  Totally worth it!  I said that Movie 42 was a comic masterpiece.  Why?  They let me direct half the movie!  Remember way back when I said Cavalia was the “greatest horse show on earth”?  Of course it’s not, but for writing that riveting review I got to spend a candlelight evening with two of the horses.  Lady Horses.  I could literally list a dozen more examples!  I said that the strength of CSI was the complexity of the plot. Ha, for that I received a pair of authentic sunglasses worn by David Caruso.  Can someone say WAAAAH!  See how easy this exchange is?  A great review can be yours for a menial price.  As the plaque above my office says “The best part of this job is the Bribes”.

I can also be bribed to give something a bad review.  I once wrote a scathing review about the Dinosaur exhibit in New York’s Natural History Museum because the Gem and Mineral section guy promised me some calcite.  It doesn’t matter what it is, I’ll take it.  During the whole Christina vs. Britney feud, I was team Xtina because her record company gave me her signature on a napkin.  It is still framed and hanging from my mantle.  I proudly display it for anybody who asks about the benefits of becoming a culture critic.

So, if there is an Opera that needs supporting, send me the fat lady for an hour or two.  Need a good review for Shakespeare in the park, give me a free leotard.  Broadway play seems to be floundering a bit?  I can make it “the play that defines these turbulent times” for the small price of letting me pretend to be the Phantom of the Opera for a night (don’t worry I have the costume).  My demands are simple and I am game for anything.  But before I end this column, I’d like to invite our readers to go watch the new daytime show, Kris, on Fox at 11am!  The show is a “diamond in the rough” of morning talk shows.  Till next time loyal readers!        

Review Matching Game!

Task:  The art of criticism can be a beautiful one and below are excerpts from four lovely reviews.  Match the reviews to the event they describe (this may be inspired by my recent trips to the website Clickhole.com…)

1)      It was a feathery affair filled with great calamity and an overwrought picturesque finish.  If asked to endure anything of that caliber again I would check my antique bronzed pocket watch to make sure the little hand hasn’t moved too far into the domain of the 4.  Overall the experience is not one to be missed, provided of course one has the time.

2)      A devilishly trite affair perfectly complemented the stupendous conclusion of prolonged ambivalence.  Too often today does cold, calculating modernity win over the elegant simplicity of retro future ambient charm.  It is an event that numbs all but two of the senses while reducing the other two to withering shells of their former selves.  I give it one thumb up and one thumb down.

3)      The works of Ovid mixed with the later work of Jack the Ripper only begin to describe the achievement conveyed today.  A concoction of messages and motifs that intersect only when necessary and leave the rest of the performance out to dry in front of a less than receptive crowd.  I have witnessed a work of art today, and I have no idea how to feel.

4)      A work in banality so profound it reaches a strange full circle that it retains its mere banality and loses all profundity.  A true feast for the average viewer provided the average viewer has looked deeply inside their soul and is ready to accept what their personal feast may entail.  First time viewers may quake in fear or leave in outright anger, but worry not, those are the people who will return again and again trying to challenge the fundamental core of what they have witnessed.  Or perhaps (as I have suspected all along) they would like a challenge to the fundamental core of who THEY are.

Events:

A)     Description of a bounce passes from Lebron James to Dwyane Wade in game 1 of the 2013 NBA Finals.

B)      A review of the Hall of Minerals at the New York Museum of Natural History.

C)      A fake review of an out of print and hard to find book necessary to write a section of an essay that counts for 40% of the final grade.

D)     First draft of Armond White’s first review of Blended by Adam Sandler.

Key:  

The Answers do not matter; this is an exercise in enjoying the journey.  But just in case you’re dying to know (weirdo)

             1-B

 2-D  

 3-C

 4 - A 

An American Sports Fan in the World Cup

Every four years the World Cup brings out a different side of the American sporting identity.  The World Cup changes the usual formula by having Americans revel in playing the role of unlikable underdog rather than our usual status as hated favorite.  It is a thrilling switch to the submissive that excites both the ardent sports love and the casual S&M fan (two of soccer’s biggest markets).  As an American who roots for the home team, the highlights of the World Cup will be reading the great guides to the games provided by the Onion and also watching the rest of the NBA finals.  Aside from my petty jesting, I do enjoy the World Cup.  I love the possibility of witnessing imperialist matches and a chance for a rectification of history’s greatest travesties.  I want to see Portugal take on Portugal Brazil or England face any other nation.  There and only there can historical grievances be rectified and finally put to rest.

As an American watching the World Cup and soccer in general, the intense nationalism that turns into horrific xenophobia and racism is always jarring to witness.  This is a turn from the racism shown in our sporting events which is usually perpetrated by the owners and fan twitter accounts, but rarely at a game.  Don’t get me wrong, I hate the Red Sox as much as any right thinking Yankee fan, but the farthest I go in my slurring is to unleash a collection of word vomit heavily featuring the phrases fucking pussy, mother fucker, and this fucking scrub piece of shit.  Never in the darkest places of sporting rage would I ever unleash full hearted racist slurs that seem to freely populate many a soccer match and a soccer think piece.  It’s one thing to berate a player for having the gall not to sign with your beloved team, but to berate them on the basis of race and xenophobic impulses is just disgusting and on top of that, they commit the sin of spawning the worst comment sections outside of a men’s right post.

In closing the World Cup is here I will readily admit to my bandwagon fan status.  I’ll root for the United States until our inevitable defeat and then probably go for Brazil because they’re the home team so why not (even if their win today was rather shady).  So let’s take in this wonderful world event and patiently bide our time for the next great sporting event to begin: the World Baseball Classic (I support ya still).  

Subway Love

Somebody once told me that the most romantic way to meet a new lover was to meet them on the subway.  She said there was nothing sexier than entering a half empty L train and seeing a good looking guy sitting in the seat across from her.  Their eyes touch and they quickly glance away, blushing heavy, but then a few seconds later their eyes find each other again and the cycle repeats.  She motions for him to get off at the next stop with her.  He smiles, throws down the remnants of an old amNY, finishes jerking off, and then exits the car with her hand in hand.  Love has exploded on the L train as two happy soon to be lovers have found each other.  I forget exactly which parts of the tale were hers and which parts were things I’ve personally witnessed, but in the end it doesn’t really matter.  Finding love on the subway can transform a dull ride into a moment of extraordinary beauty. 

In my many years as a New York City subway rider I’ve seen all sorts of love sprout.  I’ve seen the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene perfectly mirrored by two particularly large and particularly scary rats.  After they locked lips on a shared piece of what I’d like to assume was a delicious piece garbage, they motioned for their buddies to come join them in assembling the fabled rat king (you’ll look this up if you like being in a constant state of fear while walking home at night).  It was a moment so romantic that I celebrated by nearly overdosing on tetanus shots.  Their squeals of love and passion still heartily contribute to my various night terrors.

I’ve been privy to witness and partake in the drunken subway love myself.  It’s that transcendent moment when you decide to reach down and show off your inner-exhibitionist and give a show for the few denizens of the underground train.  You take your love by whatever you can grab and engage in the sloppiest of displays, if only to prove that your night was better than the other sorry sacks on the train.  Nothing says victory like draping a lover in your saliva (and they you) while the rest of the subway car pretends not to see it or cries about their own various romantic short comings.  Or so you assume.  One can never be too sure about late night riders on the subway and being a presumptuous dick is a good way for the night to quickly flip.  Before you know it, your potential lover is devouring another person’s face while you’re stuck trying to inconspicuously watch (as if they care that you’re watching).  In short the subway can be a cruel mistress to those who doubt or mistreat its powers.

To burrow on back to the point, subway love is a pure and beautiful thing that should be celebrated.  So the next time you enter a steel car please refrain from simply sitting down and avoiding eye contact with the uncommon beauty sitting across from you.  Start a moment and embrace the opportunity that the New York City Subway has given you.  Get up off your seat, finish masturbating, and extend a welcoming hand to a potential future lover and begin that beautiful cycle of love that keeps New York going.

The NBA Finals Conspiracy

For me, the biggest question in the NBA Finals will be how the Miami Heat basketballing organization responds to the air conditioning fiasco of Game 1.  It is obvious to any eagle eyed conspiracy observer (or am just I being redundant) that the faltering air conditioning system at AT & T Arena was Adam Silver counter fixing the series in an effort to convince the masses that the NBA is not rigged and that it is merely a coincidence that the Heat receive 95% of the calls.  Silver knew that the excessive heat would cause Lebron James’ godlike powers to dissipate and turn him into a mere mortal besieged by rather hilarious cramping.  The endgame was that Lebron James became a punch line for a few days (while quietly centering his rage for a potentially explosive Game 2) and the Spurs are feeling high and mighty.  Well done, Adam Silver I say, as he played his part rather exquisitely.  But now with the counter fix of Game 1 in the rearview mirror, the Spurs have to be anxious about their upcoming visit in Miami.  Sure there is still a second game to be played in San Antonio, but all eyes are on what the staff at the American Airlines arena concocts to, how should I say this, fuck around with the Spurs team.  Below, for your reading/conspiracy enjoyment, I have laid out some of the possible plans Pat Reilly and the rest of the Miami Heat Organization may have in store for the Spurs for their trip to South Beach.

1)      Despite the fact that it will anger a sizable number of South Florida residents, the Heat will engineer a plan to shut down all early bird dining options in an effort to throw Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili off their games and deprive them of a delicious 4:30 PM skirt steak.  Then to add insult to injury, the Heat organization will postpone every Mahjong game in the area to start after Game 3’s tip-off.  At the bare minimum this will drive Ginobili and Duncan to hilarious, hilarious, old man tears and lead them to grumble about how things were different back in the day.  They will be unprepared mentally and physically unable to compete at a high ability forcing them to sit out the pivotal match.  

2)      Random critically acclaimed Eva Longoria films will be left around American Airlines arena, explained with a simple “just because”.  Tony Parker is immediately suspicious due to the commonly held belief that Eva Longoria has never starred in a critically acclaimed feature film.  To investigate his suspicions, Tony Parker forces the Spurs video crew to waste valuable time examining each DVD while they vainly try explaining to Mr. Parker that Miss. Longoria was not the lead in Vertigo.  Distracted and dismayed, Tony Parker skips the Spurs practice to see the Hitchcock film and becomes convinced that Longoria is being possessed by Carlotta Valdes and the possession was the real reason they got divorced.  Parker disappears into a world of obsession and is in no shape to participate in a crucial Game 3.  Also that recurring leg problem surfaces but whose going to buy that story?

3)      The Miami Heat realize that one the Spurs are a deep team and have role players who could easily be great players if they were on lesser teams.  One would think that the way to break up the Spurs strong bench unit is to create internal discord over touches and minutes, but the Miami Heat’s staff operates on a higher level of sabotage.  Instead, the Heat decide to create too much unity and an overload of camaraderie within the Spurs bench unit so that they can’t function.  The Spurs bench forms their own direct democracy and will only execute a play or something as simple as a pass unless a super-majority of bench players agree with the decision.  Each possession ends up in a spirited but well-intentioned debate on what to do and inevitably ends in a shot clock violation.  Gregg Popovich will be forced to rely on heavily on his starters and in the process of wearing them out; he discovers a new found appreciation for fascism.  As for how the Heat will accomplish this, I suspect they will feed some sort of pheromone into the air vents or leave out some poorly written manifestos by 1^st year political science students.    

I have laid out three dastardly plans that the Heat may use against the mighty San Antonio Spurs, should they feel their normal advantages prove insufficient.  Regardless of what happens tonight for Game 2, this series is shaping up to be a good one for our inner conspiracy theorist and I for one, welcome giving in to our more paranoid beliefs.  

Stuart Hall Essay: The Finale

The finale part of my essay.  Enjoy!

V: Conclusions and Assessments

            Stuart Hall tackled Thatcherism in a book spanning over ten years of his carefully researched and well thought out essays dealing with Britain in that precarious time.  Present below are some smug assessments done by a person born after Thatcher's reign, born in a different country from her reign, and also by somebody who read his book during bouts of chronic insomnia.  Are you ready? 

Stuart Hall’s ideas are all correct.  To his point on the GLC; change starts at a local level.  He is right to assume that seeing something work positively on a local level will accrue it support on a national level.  When people see something or a system working for them and coming up with positive, concrete ideas against a divisive administration, it makes it hard to side with the administration at hand.  His ideas of party modernization are also very correct.  The evidence is over in that unruly country, America.  The party that speaks and connects to the younger generation and is able to project a view of modernization usually wins the election at hand.  Take the past presidential election in America.  The Democrats effectively used social media and displayed progressive and inclusive politics that appealed to a younger, more liberal populous.  The Republican trotted out a guy who made the dad from Leave It To Beaver look cool.  The Republicans played like a Labour campaign in Stuart Hall’s time and used slogans and policies from the past rather than using ones from the current century.  His views on identity and spectatorship are fascinating and his article on "the other" is must read for anybody in the cultural studies department.  He helped father the cinema and cultural studies major (with an assist from the late Walter Benjamin, who had a thirty year jump on Dr. Hall) which many unfortunate students join because they think they will be able to just watch movies all day long.  Oh how wrong they are.  Stuart Hall is truly a great mind and deserves to live out his golden years the way he pleases.  He has done enough for his fields and it is time for others to pick up the slack.  Yes, this is a threat.  But it is a threat from the heart.  The heart that respects the work of Stuart Hall.

Works Cited

Adams, Tim. "Cultural Hallmark." The Guardian. Guardian News and Media, 22 Sept. 2007. Web. 20 Apr. 2013.

Hall, Stuart. The Hard Road to Renewal: Thatcherism and the Crisis of the Left. London: Verso, 1988. Print.

Phillips, Caryl, and Stuart Hall. "Stuart Hall." BOMB 58 (1997): 38-42. Jstor. Web. 21 Apr. 2013. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/40426392>.

"Scholar Stuart Hall Named among the Most Important Black Britons of All Time." The Journal of Blacks in Higher Education 43 (204): 59. Jstor. Web. 20 Apr. 2013. <http://www.jstor.org/stable/4133554>.

Essay on Stuart Hall: The Penultimate Thatcher Criticism

Part 3:  The part before the last part...

IV: The Close Reading

            An important essay by Stuart Hall on ghd crisis of the left and the struggle against Thatcherism was “Face the Future” (conveniently collected in a book of his prose on Thatcher entitled , The Hard Road to Renewal: Thatcherism and the Crisis of the Left).  The essay was written in 1984 during a rather critical time in the Thatcher regime.  While the year 1984 did not see the fulfilling of George Orwell’s promise of totalitarianism, many leftists viewed Thatcher as a dangerous first and second step to the fulfillment of his horrific vision.  Thatcher won reelection in 1983 riding the wave of popularity caused by her handling of the Falkland Islands crisis.  A victory against the Argentine government resulted in a surge of patriotism and popularity for the Conservative party coming into the election and offset the fact that the economy had not improved much since Thatcher began as Prime Minister.  Winning a good old fashioned war helped propel her party into the majority for a second consecutive time.  As a fascinating side note, George Bush the elder is the only politician for which the strategy of winning a prop war did not result in re-election (he was that bad).  1984 was the first full year of the second part of Thatcher's rule and another election wouldn't be held anytime soon.  Britain had entered the middle period of Thatcherism and the end was not near.  The struggle against Thatcherism had to be reignited for the left to have any hope in the future. 

That is where Stuart Hall’s essay comes into play. “Face the Future” focuses on how the GLC is the most important font in the battle against Thatcherism (Hall p.233) even saying so in his first sentence.  He sees the GLC as the beginnings for a true socialist movement to grow out of.  For those not in the know, the GLC stands for Greater London Council and it was a form of local government that dealt with administrative concern for the greater London area.  Its duties ranged from setting up social events like concerts to other city services like waste disposal (Hall p.234).   Hall sets up the argument that the GLC serves the function that the Labour party should in Britain.  It had provided a socialist alternative and had been successful in applying this alternative to everyday life.  The GLC started to build a new bloc for the forces of socialism in the form of engaging feminists, black activists, young radicals, and the gay community (Hall p. 237).  They provided a successful ideological alternative to Thatcherism on the local level and Hall sees Thatcher’s quest to shut down the GLC as both a turning point in her popularity and rendered the consequences of her “authoritarian populism” visible to the public.  To see a popular governmental organization shut down simply because it had differing philosophies with the current administration produces the unfriendly smell of the anti-democratic tendencies of Thatcherism.  Keeping local institutions alive was central to defeating Thatcherism.  Hall saw the battle for keeping the GLC around as a microcosm of the major ideological debate of the times.  He states this battle as the battle of “profit motive and possessive liberalism against, which Thatcher represents; and the camp of collective social need and public interest, which the labour movement, even in its most degenerated form, has always represented.” (Hall p. 233).  Labour has not fulfilled the role of collective social need so the GLC moved in and accomplished what Labour should have been doing in the first place.  The success of the GLC is the reason Thatcher wanted it shut down.  It has succeeded with a different ideological outlook than the current administration and like Miss America said in the great Woody Allen film (this is paraphrased), Bananas, differences of opinion must be tolerated, but when the opinions are so different they must not tolerated and then that person becomes a subversive (leave it to Miss America to perfectly sum up how Thatcher feels about the GLC).

 A main point brought up in this passage is how the GLC brought together people that the mainstream Labour party failed to reach out and connect with.  Labour formed too little of an intellectual support group and suffers from, in Hall’s own words, a poverty of ideas (Hall 236).  The disconnect between the young radicals of the leftist movements and the Labour party displays how much of a failure Labour was during the Thatcher years.  The GLC took non-political people and brought them into the political struggle.  It entranced and engaged with young activists and radicals and made them part of the movement.  It is true that the GLC did not always know exactly what to do with these young radicals and their ideas, but they made the first step and opened up their ranks to them.  As of the time of this essay, they have not been able \ to combine their different support groups into a cohesive, organic social bloc, but to the credit of the GLC, it has realized that the most prudent question of contemporary politics is how to form a successful bloc.  Again to the credit of the GLC, they have not shied away from this task, but have openly embraced it (Hall p. 236).  The GLC started by embracing groups that Thatcherism had  long left for dead.  Black activists were included in the political agenda and given a say in the issues at hand.  Feminists were able to participate in the mix and the gay political movement had been given genuine support.  These groups represented the future (and still do) and helped to diversify and strengthen the resistance movement to Thatcherism.

Another key point in Hall’s defense and embrace of the GLC is the GLC’s commitment to modernity and the alternative lifestyle.  This greatly differs with a favorite Thatcher slogan of “There is No Alternative” (Hall p.237).  The GLC moved socialism away constantly playing defense and a policy idea of a return to the days before the Tories took over.  The old ways are not going to solve any of Britain’s problems.  The GLC has succeeded by not falling into the trap of a socialist nostalgic glow.  They have made new, concrete ideas of an alternative style.  By making problems more concrete to the public and giving them concrete alternative solution, the GLC has provided a successful break from the no alternative rhetoric that comes from the Thatcher administration.  The GLC stresses collective needs and solutions and the essential fact that people must think of themselves as part of a collective rather than “ratepayers” (Hall p. 234) or a person who pays for a public utility.  At first this seems like simply a descriptive term with no ideological background behind it.  Well that kind of thinking is wrong and whoever is thinking those harmful thoughts should take a quick break to refresh their mind (watching a classic episode of The Simpsons usually does the trick).  Now, as we return to our discussion, the term ratepayer does entail an ideological background.  It serves to disassociate the people from the service and makes the service seem like a cold, isolated government practice.  By thinking of themselves as ratepayers, people fail to identify themselves as citizens who need housing, clean streets, education or any other collective needs (Hall p. 234).  The term ratepayer dissociates the citizen from the community and their collective needs.  It stresses individual greed over collective needs and harmony.  Thatcherism has ideologically reconstructed the world into possessive individualist terms (Hall p. 234).  In Stuart Hall’s eyes this is a bad thing.  A very, very, very bad thing.  

Hall also argues that the GLC has successful politicized areas of everyday life to show how a radical leftist administration can identify positively with popular cultural life and can feed off the energy it has created (Hall p.238).  How did the GLC do this one might ask?  First off, good question, it is always a pleasure to see the reader paying close attention so far into an essay.  For your efforts, you shall be rewarded with the answer.  The GLC has increased the quality of modern city living by subsidizing public entertainment and opening up public grounds for the people to enjoy.  Parks have become active centers for concerts of a diversity of musical genres and it is all sponsored by the administration in power.   By democratizing and making urban living more enjoyable and affordable, the GLC has won the hearts of the city folk.  Showing people what a leftist administration can do by not watering down their policies has won many a young radical following for the GLC.  Stuart Hall sees this as the GLC’s greatest success.  He closes his essay by expressing this belief , “It is one of the aspects of GLC politics – by rooting itself in the everyday experience of popular urban society and culture, and becoming a leading force in moral and cultural life - …that socialism could become the politics and culture of the future…” (Hall p.238).  The GLC is the start of that future.

In a broader sense this small essay in Hall’s collection, The Hard Road to Renewal: Thatcherism and the Crisis of the Left, plays to some major points in Hall’s overall ideology.  Hall finds much failure with the larger Labour and socialist movement and expresses great pessimism in the future of the movement.  This essay provides Hall with a glimmer of hope as to what a successful socialist regime could look like.  He is describing a real life example of what he would like politics and culture in Britain to become.  “Face the Future” deals with how socialism could effectively take hold in British politics and society. The GLC is the blueprint into how to obtain a successful socialist government.  This essay also plays to the ideas of diversity and engaging with young radicals.  Too frequently Hall sees that the problem with the major Labour party is their disconnect from young leftists and their disconnect from groups of people that have been left behind under the politics of Thatcherism.  Here Hall sees the GLC engaging with young radicals, feminists, gays, and black activists and sees this acceptance as a beginning to diversification and the creation of a new socialist bloc.  Everything is coming together.  This article also plays to Hall’s belief that one of the reasons socialism has not taken a'hold a'yet is that the Labour party (which should represent its platforms) doesn’t advocate a modern, alternative approach.  Labour is stuck in the past with the spirit of 1945 and hasn’t modernized.  The GLC is a modern organization with modern solutions that provide a concrete alternative to Thatcherism.  It has provided a difference of opinion, and thus become dangerous to the Thatcher administration.  IT is easy to see why she meant to shut it down and why she eventually did.  Stuart Hall sees the GLC as a concrete beginning to putting his ideas and the ideas of true socialism into practice.  It is a blueprint into seeing socialism work effectively and with a great diversity of the people.  An added bonus to that is that the people seem to like it.  As Bart Simpson would say, “sorry mom the mob has spoken” (also as a side note Britain should build a monorail...). 

Essay on Stuart Hall Part 2: More criticism of Thatcher

Today's post will cover the problems Stuart Hall saw with Thatcherism and the responses he proposed to defeat the monstrous beast.

III: From Problems to Responses

            After witnessing the devastating effects of Thatcherism in the country he had emigrated to, Stuart Hall did what any level headed intellectual would do about a perceived crisis.  He wrote numerous essays on how to stop the runaway freight train of new conservative policies that Margaret Thatcher and her administration had unleashed to the great land of Britain.  He also discussed how the left should attack and beat Thatcher.  Hall starts out by writing in his essay “The Battle for Socialist Ideas in the 1980’s”, that the problem with the left and more specifically with the socialists, was the belief that socialism was inevitable and they just had to wait for it to take hold (Hall p. 177-8).  He writes that even though the conditions had been ideal for a socialist takeover in Britain, it had never gotten off the ground due to the populous routinely voting for the opposite ideas (like voting for Thatcher in three consecutive elections) (Hall p. 179).   The only way socialism can take hold is if the working class becomes educated in the ways of the socialist.  The socialists themselves must abandon the notion that the working class will inevitably dissolve into socialist ideas.  Instead, the socialists must undertake a campaign to destroy the very deeply rooted prejudices of racism, jingoism, and sexism that have clouded the prism of the working class mind (Hall p. 180).  The very division that Thatcherism has reinforced must be destroyed in order for the flowers of socialist thought to grow in the minds of the working class Briton. 

For socialism to become a successful force in the 1980’s, Hall argues that it must be freed from three prisms of thought.  It must first disassociate itself from the grim legacy of the communism commonly known as Stalinism.  The failures and abuses of the Stalin regime have tainted communism and has been unfairly grouped socialism with it.  The failures of a communist regime are no more vivid and apparent than what happened under the Stalin regime.  Socialists would be wise to discuss what the failures of a socialist state could be (Hall p. 185).   A second barrier to socialism in the United Kingdom is that the Labour government chose to reform the social-democratic system rather than completely transform it.  They worked within the capitalist framework to advance reform and failed.  Labour’s ideas did not help fix the economic problems and thus the people became fed up and exhausted with the latest crop of ineffectual leaders at the helm.  The people decided to take a walk on the wild side and they didn’t want to take it with Lou Reed.  They decided to take it with the conservatives and their front woman, Margaret Thatcher.  Thatcher and the resurgence of the right is the last major barrier for the socialist takeover of Britain.  The right seized upon an “authoritarian populism: and precipitated a swing to the right that was different than other conservative governments before it (Hall p. 188).  Its ideological prevalence and penetration cut deeply into the British consciousness and due to the focus on “traditionalist ideas” and the “ideas of social and moral responsibility” (Hall p. 194).  The radical right had morality and tradition on its side.  It is up to the socialist to undermine these strong feelings that have become aroused by swelling movement of Thatcherism.

Those are the prisms of thought that socialism must defeat.  To the untrained eye these challenges look like the 1972-73 Celtics.  But like those Celtics, Thatcher could be defeated and it would not take the mesmerizing backcourt of Walt Frazier and Earl the Pearl to defeat it, nor a timely injury to John Havlicek to seal the deal.  Stuart Hall has a different answer.  The Labour party must update their rhetoric and learn how to win an election.  They need to modernize their message and stop relying on the post war spirit of 1945 (Hall p.267).  In 1984, Hall wrote his essay “The Crisis of Labourism” which detailed how Labour and left could defeat the Thatcher in the next election.   Labour can start by becoming the party of the disenfranchised and unite women, blacks, and the poor together against the policies causing them grievous harm.  They need to each out to these parties and create a coalition of the disenfranchised and the underrepresented in the Thatcher regime.  The failure of the Labour party to modernize has prevented them from reaching out to feminists and gay and lesbian causes, while sticking to a working class mentality that has been proved unsuccessful.  Working class voters have been blinded by themes of moral responsibility and traditionalism and have repeatedly voted against their economic interests.  It is the English version of what’s the matter with Kansas.  Hall notes that creating a coalition of those who Thatcher has neglected would serve Labour well in defeating her regime. 

This is not the only way to defeat the problem that is Thatcherism.  Gathering up minorities into a tent-like party will not solely suffice.  The article also supposes that the Labour party needs to provide an alternative vision of  a socialist society.  Instead of trying to wage a battle based on mass political ideology, Labour is content with having an economic outlook and ideology (Hall p.208).  Labour believes it can survive with the old adage of “once Labour, always Labour”, but this political automatism does not exist anymore.  Working class culture has been fragmented and working class voters cannot be expected to always support Labour.  The support for the Labour party has shifted and Labour has not capitalized on it.  They lack a clear ideological message and their party relies the idea on inevitability.  Thatcherism has a clear meaning.  The average Briton could give an apt description of the future under Thatcher because she has given a Britain clear view of it.  Her policies are her religion, her sin is her heartlessness.  The problem with Labour is that they are always looking out to Noah’s great rainbow; they have no alternative lifestyle to Thatcherism stated.  There is no message as to what modern socialism would look like under Labour, or simply what modernity would look like (Hall p.209).  They have no clear cut vision, just a whole lot of mixed-up confusion.  And to Stuart Hall it is a-killing him.  

Another way to combat Thatcherism is for the socialists and Labour to redefine their terms.  For far too long they have been playing on the home field of Thatcherism and they keep letting the fans of team Thatcher get to them.  Labour has been fighting an uphill battle and losing due to outdated ideological terms.  In his 1984 article, “The State-Socialism’s Old Caretaker”, Stuart Hall argues that socialism does not have to be equated with statist thinking.  Socialism should come from a transfer of the state to the society (Hall p. 231).  The increased diversity of the younger generation will allow these changes to occur.  Democratizing civil society is as important as dismantling the bureaucracies of the state (Hall p. 231).  Changing what socialism means and taking it away from a historical perspective of a statist viewpoint is very important.  Statist thought has a bad rap in Britain but it is the duty of the socialist to convey that it is not the end all in socialist thought.  Bringing socialism down to a local level and infusing it with the democratization of civil society would bring about the ideal situation for Hall.  That is the way socialism can win the battle for Britain against the forces of Thatcherism.