As we end this year and rapidly approach 2018, here’s a selection of quotes that sum up my state of mind from the end of last year to the end of this year and to the end of next year (yes I can see into the future). Come enjoy!
Professional
End of 2016:
“There’s this tour guide book that I read and look at stuff going oh and ahh!”
End of 2017:
“So apparently I’m a CEO now. Bow down to your corporate master!”
End of 2018:
“I built the Tour Noir NYC empire from the ground up! You chicken shit
stockholders and board members should all…yeah get security, I am not leaving
peacefully!”
Politics
End of 2016: “This was pretty bad. But it only feels like an ominous
prologue.”
End of 2017: “The moderate Democrat beat the Republican pedophile in
Alabama by a whole point? Now that’s what I call progress!”
End of 2018: “That Republican sodomized a statue of Jesus and still won
evangelicals by 70%!”
Yankees
End of 2016: “THE SANCHIZE shall rise!”
End of 2017: (no quote – just salivating)
End of 2018: “It took them 5 games to win the World Series? Fire
CASHMAN!”
Knicks
End of 2016: “Maybe Phil Jackson is using reverse zen triangle
motivation through alienating his star player and the rest of league? I really
don’t know at this point?”
End of 2017: “This feeling of not being a joke...it’s so strange…it
feels almost dirty, almost wrong.”
End of 2018: “Latrell Sprewell will make a fine coach!”
Star Wars
End of 2016: “Rogue One was good, but I hear in 8 Anakin is a space
sloth and there’s a magic tree and that Rey is a Skywalker and is the
reinencarnation of the first jedi and Snoke is the first sith…”
End of 2017: “I saw Kylo Ren take his shirt off in the shower and he is
shredded. He has an 8 pack.”
End of 2018: “Han Solo was good but I hear in 9 Chewbacca has a
lightsaber duel with Kylo Ren and that the Ewoks come back and eat the Porgs
and that Poe and Finn get married and Rey is the maid of honor…”
Bob Dylan
End of 2016: “Maybe he’s done with all the Sinatra covers…”
End of 2017: “He played 5 shows at the Beacon and I only saw 3…”
End of 2018: “Maybe he’s done with all the Pink Floyd covers…”
Movies
End of 2016: “I’m going to make it a point to see at least 3 movies not
staring superheros.”
End of 2017: “I’m going to make it a point to see at least 3 movies not
owned by Disney.”
End of 2018: ‘I’m going to make it a point to watch a trailer of a
movie not owned by Disney.”
Television
End of 2016: “No I haven’t seen the original streaming content produced
by (x) but I’m sure it’s very good.”
End of 2017: “So I can’t watch that show anymore because that guy has
been an open secret creep for years apparently.”
End of 2018: “It’s nice that we forgave that creep from (x tv show) but
in all honesty he was amazing and that show is great!”
Romance
End of 2016:
“FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE. NO PROBLEMS AT ALL, AND NO I DIDN’T REALIZE MY LEFT EYE
IS TWITCHING.”
End of 2017:
“…So the bumble girl said her name was Ashley-Juliet and that I could only call
her that….me and the coffee meets bagel girl spent 4 hours getting wasted
talking about how we had nothing in common…then this Tinder girl said I was going
to hell.”
End of 2018:
“And well after coming to her senses, she finally said yes and that’s how I
became Mr. Emma Watson.”
Happy 2018!
