Facebook Invite Annoyances

Why are you saying maybe on a Facebook invite? Checking maybe says I’ll go unless something better comes around which means I’ll totally drop your thing. Maybe is just proving to the people in the group that you have a life filled with wonder and possibilities and you can’t be tied down to one thing. You’re a peacock goddamn it and you need to fly! A maybe says don’t think for one second that your little birthday party or clarinet recital is the only thing I could potentially attend at 8:30 this upcoming Saturday. If there is one satisfying answer in the world to people planning an event it is the always fun “eh maybe”. At least when someone says no you have total metaphysical certitude that you’ll have one less person to worry about. A maybe just hangs people in suspense and tries to turn the event about you as if everybody will be on their tip toes awaiting your arrival. Nobody is glancing at the door to see if you’ll turn that yellow maybe into a green yes. The nerve and narcissism of some people. Awful. Just awful.

Also if you can’t attend an event that was proposed through Facebook, decline it without putting out the always necessary essay of why you can’t attend said event. Again it’s nothing but pure narcissism and ego feeding. I’d love to go your little birthday soiree but unfortunately I have plans that are more important than the one day of the year that’s supposed to be centered around you. Who are you trying to impress by putting the reason you can’t attend the event? It’s not like the host is going to see your plans and decided fuck it let’s do what they’re doing. Cancel my party I can’t compete with this kid’s trip to Wilmington, Delaware. Why try to upstage the host who so graciously decided to share an event with you? This humble host looked through a list of profile pictures and when they came to your face decided, “sure why not” and made you a part of their special day. Now you want to tell them that not only can you not attend (for shame) and doubly you have better things to do. Terrible. Just terrible.

The proper way to decline a Facebook invite is to just click decline and leave it there. When I am making my little events I could care less the reason you can’t go. All I know is that you are dead to me. If you must disclose the reason why you can’t attend, text the person or tell them directly. Don’t let the world know what you’re up to, no one on the thread cares or frankly enjoys getting lame ass notifications from the birthday thread. If you’re not updating the info on the party don’t post in the thread. I can’t believe we’ve had Facebook for so long and still don’t know how to properly RSVP to an event. Disappointing. Just disappointing.