Today I’ll be continuing my look
back at Disney by reviewing Pinocchio,
or the most disturbing kid’s movie of all time.
Let’s begin shall we (or rather I).
Pinocchio scares the hell out of me because of how the film
resolves the children to donkey plot.
There is no resolution as the children get turned into donkeys and sent
to salt mines and circuses. Pinocchio
escapes with the help of Jiminy Cricket and then that part of the story is completed
with no questions asked. Neither of them
decides to go back and help the errant donkey children and they are content to
let these children live out the rest of their days in animal slavery. In a modern day adaptation I would have to believe
this would be handled differently because there is no hope of redemption in the
original. A current Pinocchio for kids would have Pinocchio going back to save his
donkey brethren with Jiminy Cricket working out a way to reverse the curse
which would of course succeed and the children would be back to normal having
learned their lesson. The film would end
with a capture of the coachman and a shutting down of Pleasure Island. We’ve grow accustomed to happy endings for
all (thanks in part to Disney) so to see children, even though they are bad,
condemned to a life of servitude without the slightest glimmer of hope is
jarring to say the least. I would show this
part of the film on the first day of kindergarten to nip in the bud any future
instance of bad behavior.
I also find this part of the story
very cruel as what child doesn’t want to give up school and hard work for a
life of unlimited pleasure and fun? This
part of the film reads more like propaganda for the “protestant work ethic”
mentality than a guide for mischievous children. Also, I don’t like the fact that these kids
are damned for eternity because they screwed up in their youth. Do the writers behind Pinocchio believe that once a bad kid always a bad person? Have they no mind for the idea that children
can learn and grow from mistakes and youthful malevolence to grow into
contributing consumers and capitalists?
The only character allowed to learn from his mistakes is Pinocchio who
isn’t even real for most of the film! It’s
nice to see that Disney believes in the one strike and you’re out policy that
made this country the number one jailor in the world.
My favorite character is Honest
John and the best song in the film is “Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee”. That fox is a great flim-flam man and I enjoy
his manipulative movements and sayings.
The scene where he convinces Pinocchio he is ill is the best use of his
manipulative body language and talk. I’m
always a sucker for a snake oil salesman.
My least favorite character has to
be that Jiminy Cricket. The guy thinks
he’s the end all on everything and is the worst conscious in the world. What kind of conscious forsakes his pupil when
the going gets tough or the pupil won’t listen (he abandon’s Pinocchio at least
twice in the film like a quitter)? Plus
the guy has some lame one liners and a holier than thou attitude who only seems
to be in it for a possible gold medal. Get
over yourself cricket man. Plus, how was
he able to breathe under water? That was
never explained.
The clocks in Gepetto’s workshop
are amazing. The variety of different
singing clocks is amazing and really shows off the creativity of the visual and
writing staff. It sets the tone of what
a master craftsman Gepetto is and how he deserves a better son than
Pinocchio. They could have set the whole
film in his workshop showing off the different clocks he made and I would have
been okay with that.
I was surprised to see that
Pinocchio’s nose only grew once in the movie.
It’s the most famous visual from the film and it occurs for roughly a
minute with the Blue Fairy. I also wasn’t
expecting Pinocchio to be so willing an accomplice in his own mischief. He willingly follows Honest John even after
the whole actor thing doesn’t pan out.
That has got to be either the most trustworthy or most forgiving puppet
in the world. Or maybe he just likes
messing around with that insufferable Jiminy Cricket. I must also laud that they gave the role to
an actual child and let the boy sing like a believable child. In most musicals today the kids try to sing
like they’re Whitney Houston because that’s all that people applaud for and
want on those singing competition shows.
It’s refreshing to hear a kid sound like a kid and not pretend to be an
adult.
In conclusion Pinocchio scares the shit out of me more than when I saw it as a
kid. Let that be a lesson: never re-watch
children’s movies.
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