Western Conference Progress Report

NBA Western Conference Progress Report:

Yesterday I examined the Eastern Conference in all its horrific glory.  Now let’s turn our attention to its far more successful and good looking brother to the west: The Western Conference.  A disclaimer: I am a Knicks fan, so any bias will be filtered through that lens.

San Antonio Spurs – Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.  It’s going to be a strange day when playing the Spurs is seen as a gimme.  But for now, this machine keeps on kicking everybody’s ass without mercy.  One day they will feel the burn.  One day.

Portland Trail Blazers – Where did this come from?  I like to think that Sideshow Bob/ Robin Lopez is the cause.  I’m a dreamer that way.

Oklahoma City Thunder – A great team, but it feels like they should be better now that Russell Westbrook is back.  But alas, they’ll just have to be content with being an excellent team in a tough conference.  The poor bastards.     

Los Angeles Clippers – I am pleased to note I haven’t seen a Cliff Paul commercial in a long while and the Blake Griffin commercials are still kind of funny.  That's progress, I guess.  For the non-commercial making players on the team, keep it going?

Houston Rockets –   I suppose it’s a good thing when the biggest problem on the team is that Omer Asik wants out.  Otherwise, they seem poised to be the team every opposing fan base loves to beat (other than the Heat). 

Golden State Warriors - Looks like Steph Curry is up next on the inevitable superstar injury list.  Prove me wrong Curry.  Prove me wrong (or do what you want, we live in a supposedly “free” country).

Dallas Mavericks – Who ever thought that Monta Ellis and Dirk Nowitzki would be an unstoppable pairing and have the Mavericks playing good ball.  Just when you thought Mark Cuban’s head couldn’t get any larger…

Denver Nuggets – Despite losing Benedict Iguodala to the Warriors, they have rebounded nicely, playing above 500 ball.  I’d say the biggest disappointment of the season is that Javale McGee and Nate Robinson haven’t done anything stupid/hilarious.   

Minnesota Timberwolves – the 9^th best team in the West would have been fighting for 3^rd  spot in the East.  Geography taketh, geography giveth away.  The longer they stay out of a playoff spot, the faster that Kevin Love is leaving countdown clock ticks.

Memphis Grizzlies – Ha, take that sabermetrics!  The one case of the Grizzlies being mediocre is all I need to tell me that all those careful calculations are wrong.

Phoenix Suns – Isn’t this a pleasant surprise!  A 500 record never felt so good.  Enjoy it before the inevitable plunge occurs and the Suns are sucked into a blackness known as tanking.

Los Angeles Lakers – Kobe still leads the league in Bleacher Report updates received on my phone.  Every fucking thing he does I get an update.  Otherwise, I thought the Lakers were just going to sit out the beginning of the season until Kobe came back. 

New Orleans Pelicans – The unibrow and his surrounding teammates have formed an interesting and beatable team.  They should be proud for being that team this year. 

Utah Jazz – Your team is so bad that if they moved to the Eastern Conference they would still be a very bad basketball team.  Snap.  The basketball they play is more free form.  As in free form-ly bad.  Just ugly.