First post- The Right Nostalgia

Here is an article I wrote a bit back on nostalgia.

The Right Nostalgia by Jason Thompson

Can we hurry up all this nineties nostalgia already?  Rugrats and Hey Arnold are fine, but let’s start fondly reminiscing about the real stuff.  I’m talking about the heavy hitters, the cream of the remembrance crop, the half soup and sandwich combo of wistful memories.  You know what I’m talking about.  Let’s start to get nostalgic about the 2000’s, or the aughts, or whatever you call the decade after the nineties (the post nineties?).  Remember how we had no idea what to call this decade and everybody was in a constant state of confusion for about 3 months towards the end of 2009.  God, those were the days.  The days they were.  The days were, they was.  Those should be the 24 hour spans we should be looking back on with awe.

Please speed up this nineties nostalgia trip already because there are so many things that need to be remembered about from the 2000’s.  We need to gaze fondly at things that have been forgotten about for too long now.  Like Harry Potter.  When is the last time we heard about those actors and those movies.  Take a moment and think about when they were young and how adorable they were.  Think harder and evoke those first memories of arriving at the theater stoked to see the boy wizard come to life on the silver screen. I can’t even seem to recall what they were called; it’s been so long since I’ve thought about the early part of that decade.  And therein lies the problem.  I’ve been bombarded with things about the nineties that I cannot properly revere my favorite things from the decade that brought us the prefix i in relation to anything vaguely electronic.  Can you remember where you were when saying i before something became the norm?  For me it was June 7^th 2007.  Or maybe it was April 14^th 2008.  Something about those dates just seems to stand out.

Those were the days and sometimes the nights (imagine me winking and adjust your thoughts to a hard PG-13 to maybe light R status).  I think the solution to this non aughts nostalgia can be traced to the simple fact of the year we are living in.  People, it is 2013.  We don’t know how to remember pop culture on our own.  We have always had the internet or Youtube to use as our personal memory box (God, Youtube.  Lonelygirl15 I still believe you are real and my marriage offer still stands).  Why commit culture to memory when you can get it up on a screen in ten seconds.  Those who reminisce about the nineties can do so because they had to memorize important events to seem relevant back in the day (strike two against that decade – strike one was the lack of confusion over what to call the decade, it was cleverly explained in the first paragraph).  They are well versed in seeing something, storing it, and bringing it back at an appropriate time in the future.  Children of the new millennium, we must learn from their ancient and strange ways.  I will teach you the way.

First go to Google and type either first generation Ipod or Drake and Josh.  If you pick the Ipod, stare at the picture and say these words out loud, “remember how big it was, god”.  If pick Drake and Josh, look at the picture of them and say “remember when Josh was in that movie The Wackness; didn’t see that one coming”.  When saying these phrases commit to a half smile and a semi-vacant look that is gazing off into a slightly rosier past.  Hold the face for a few seconds after the words have been spoken.  You have now memorized your first piece of 2000’s pop culture.  Take your skills and search for other artifacts to ponder fondly about.  Be creative and try to have some fun doing this.  And one day we will rule supreme over those who cherish the nineties.  One nostalgia to rule them all.  Man remember how good those Lord of the Rings movies were until the end with the hobbits on the bed and the four hundred endings…{editors note- he wrote more uninteresting ramblings on the Lord of the Rings that make no sense and divulge into a sad discussion on loneliness and responsibility in an impersonal world.  There is no room for feelings or emotion in a post about nostalgia}.