The Cuban Missile Crisis
Background - Tensions over what we now call the Cuban Missile
Crisis are slowly reaching a fever pitch. President John F. Kennedy has called
his closest advisers in for a meeting.
Scene – October 15th 1962. The Oval Office.
The room is well lit.
Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy paces back and forth a few times and
stops to gaze out the window for a moment.
He moves a little closer to the window before pulling back and resuming
his pacing. Defense Secretary Robert McNamara
is sitting arched over the table with his hands folded. Chairman of the Joint Chief of Staffs, General
Maxwell Taylor, is also seated and writing some notes on a pad. Enter John F.
Kennedy. Everybody looks up and
Robert Kennedy takes a seat next to Robert McNamara. John F. Kennedy slowly sits down at the first
chair and leans back with his right hand perched upon his chin. He stares off to the right for a minute and
then slowly rejoins the room.
JFK (John F. Kennedy):
Gentlemen, I have decided on a course of action after much thought (everybody
leans forward). As you all recall the
Lincoln bedroom used to be the last stop on the White House Tour. Now, the Lincoln bedroom will be the penultimate
stop with the Oval Office serving now as the last stop. This way the tour could end with the
excitement of possibly meeting the President!
I haven’t been able to decide on whether they should be allowed to sit in
my chair for a few seconds. Gentlemen, what
are your collected feelings on this matter?
(There is a thick and uncomfortable silence in the
room. Robert F. Kennedy looks at Robert
McNamara who looks at General Maxwell Taylor who looks back at Robert F. Kennedy.
They nod at each other and finally, General Maxwell Taylor begins to speak.)
GMT (General Maxwell Taylor): Mr. President, I must admit we
are a bit baffled as of now. How could someone
of your stature ever consider letting an ordinary citizen sit in your
seat. How could you besmirch the office
of the President by letting some beatnik or slob-
RM (Robert McNamara) (jumps up and exclaims): Are you both insane? There are missiles pointed at us no more than
ninety miles away and you’re talking about how to end some dumb tour?
JFK: (Calmly, with his eyes closed) Robert, please remind
the Secretary of Defense how we do things around here.
RFK (Robert F. Kennedy): We do not discuss new business until old
business has been discussed.
JFK: Exactly. We have many precious issues to deal with and
this system is the only way to deal with each one in a fair and equal manner. We cannot break the system, and plus it wouldn’t
be fair to this tour issue which we did promised to resolve around a week
ago. So before we go talking about
missiles or Cubans or whatever, we need to discuss the White House Tour. So sit the fuck down, stop whining like a
little girl, and be a productive member of this meeting.
RM slowly sits down.
JFK: Thanks, was that
so hard. Jesus Fucking Christ. Anyway, so, it was my understanding that we
are all good on where the tour ends, but not on the sitting down part. What do you think Robert-
RM: I believe we should—
JFK: Hey, hey, hey, calm down there buddy. You didn’t let me finish. What do you think Robert… Kennedy, ha gottcha!
RFK, JFK, and GMT start to laugh. RM sits there stone face.
RFK: Thanks JF. I like the tour ending spot and I have no
problem with letting the people sitting down in the chair. We are a government of the people, so why
not.
JFK: Good me likey. You’re
up McNamara.
RM: Yeah, whatever
sounds good, I could really care less.
We really need to discuss this info I picked up about Khrushchev letting
Castro-
JFK: This guy again. (mocking) Blah blah blah Khrushchev oh
no Castro. Look friend-o, you better
start really contributing or your ass ‘ell be outta here while were talking
about your old butt buddy Khrushchev.
RFK: Haha. Two for Two JF (they high five).
RM: Fine. I say we let the people sit in the seat, but
they can’t touch the desk. The desk is
too old and a nice gift and we don’t want to see it ruined with a penis
engraving. But really I agree with
whatever gets this matter resolved the fastest.
JFK: Better McNamara,
but your still on thin ice buddy. And
there’s a goddamn ice shark waiting for you under there. Maxy you’ve been quiet… hit me some knowledge!
GMT: I still don’t
like the sitting idea. It just seems to
take away the office’s prestige to have a regular guy sitting in that chair. The people in that chair have made so many important
decisions. How about instead they get to
touch the desk and look at the chair.
RFK: Max, we are a government
of the people; let them imagine what they could accomplish. Let them sit in that chair and see what you
see every day JF. Let them momentarily
become the embodiment of their childhood dream.
JFK: God damn RF,
that’s fucking beautiful. I agree. They can sit in the chair and what the hell
touch the desk. (he points) Maxy –
GMT: Sounds good Mr.
President.
JFK- Robert-
RM: I agree-
JFK- Kennedy.
Ha. Every fucking time!
RFK: Three for three
JF! Yeah I agree.
RM: Why would you ask
if he agrees with his own idea? But,
fine, yes I agree. Are we done with
this?
JFK: (sighs) Yes, we are done. Now it is time for new business. Happy, McNamara?
RM: Yes, finally!
JFK: Alright, first
order of new business. (JFK takes out
some magazines) Gentlemen, scour through
these magazines and look for some new actress broads for me to rail. Let’s get to it!
RM: GODDAMN IT, FUCK!
Everybody but McNamara laughs.
{Exit scene}
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