The American
Travel Guide Part V: Southwest
The American
Southwest has a distinctive cultural flair that helps it stand out from the
rest of the nation. Here are some useful
tips if you wish to travel down to such a spicy area.
Oklahoma
Visit a Native
American reservation and do your best to shed exactly one single tear.
To fully enjoy
a trademark tornado, sit in a rocking chair next to a couple of cows.
Create a
dust bowl ballad or a completely new dust bowl to fit in with the locals.
Texas
Remember the
Alamo’s gift shop. They have a
delightful array of souvenirs to commemorate whatever happened at the Alamo.
Texans are a
notoriously proud people. Destroy that
pride by recounting some facts about Texas.
That’ll teach them to be prideful for no reason.
John F.
Kennedy was killed in Dallas, and last time I checked, you sir are no John F.
Kennedy. Hell, you’re not even Maria Shriver. So I’d tread lightly if I were you.
Austin is a
liberal city in a very red state. Walk
around Austin as if you are in the film Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Arizona
When visiting
the Grand Canyon, partake in the classic game of who can stand closest to the
edge without dying.
Mock the Hoover Dam for being named after such
an awful president.
Ask people
in Scottsdale what it’s like to live in the lamest named city in America.
The dry air
is good for people with respiratory problems.
Make it a point to bring back as much air as possible for any hard
breathing relatives back home.
New Mexico
Ask the
locals where the name New Mexico comes from.
Tell them you understand the “new” part, but not the “Mexico” part. Enjoy their befuddlement.
That chili
pepper doesn’t look that hot. I bet you
can eat it all in just one bite.
more to come
No comments:
Post a Comment